I am now over a month into my recovery. I broke down and ordered the wheel chair my family tried to get me to order 3 weeks ago. I talk about mindset a lot. It's a funny thing. The idea of getting a wheel chair seemed crazy to me. It was like my mind could not/would not accept the 3-4 months recovery time the doctor was projecting. How could it possibly take that long to heal? I'm wonder woman! Or at least I think I am. Then reality set in and I realized that it really is a convenience item to help me get through this time of healing. A way for me to do things with my family. Like attend a dance concert for our daughter. I am grateful to be able to get one to enjoy time with my family!
Week 1 for me was a total mental train wreck. I was beyond pissed. I exercised daily. I ate clean to an extreme. I was extremely active, I was grateful for my excellent health, I felt like I was doing everything "right" yet there I was with a severe injury. How could this have possibly happened?? How could it be that I could not drive or do basically anything for myself or my family? I take extreme pride in caring for and spoiling my family. Nothing makes me happier. Sincerely. Now that was impossible for the next 3-4 months. My brain just kept focusing on the "why."
Week 2 came along and I decided I wanted to try to do something every day I could not do the day before. That made me feel a little better. But yes, I did of course over do it. I cleaned the kitchen and did 3 loads of laundry and then I paid the price for the next 2 days. Regrouped.... then I just did the dishes. That worked. Thank goodness. Switching roles from the giver to the receiver was not easy, no matter how kind and loving my family was being.
At week 3 I started realizing many things. For starters, asking for help has never been my strong suit. I am fiercely independent and asking for help does not come easily to me. It now however is NOT an option. I have had to learn to be vulnerable, learn to ask for help and learn that it is ok and I am blessed to have people to help me and care for me. A valuable lesson I would not trade for the world.
Week 4 brought the end of pain pills and the ability to enjoy a glass of wine! Oh how have I missed being able to do that. I've also learned to "walk" down the stairs instead of sliding on my tush! Progress is slow but is steady. My family took me on my first outing and turned me loose. How awesome that was! I wheeled myself all through Barnes & Noble and had a great time. Something I know I took for granted being able to do in the past.
I have more blessings than I am able to count. I have excellent medical care and insurance. I don't have to worry about getting to the office anymore as I am fortunate enough to work from home. I have a family that love me and care for me like a queen. With all of these treasures, I now feel nothing but absolute gratitude.